You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
