okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
