Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
two words: eviction party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
