i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
