My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
