Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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