Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
