Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
