Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
