so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
