i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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