i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
