Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
