guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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