I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
my liver is dry heaving
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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