Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
