I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
