He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Boobs are out for the taking
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
