True but thats because hes a fetus.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
