I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
