I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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