I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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