hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
