how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
