Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
