Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
