i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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