Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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