At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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