they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
