Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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