You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
