My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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