she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
