The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
