This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
