I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
