His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
