apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
