a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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