My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Randomize
