It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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