why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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