I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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