I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you have to choose: penises or morals?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
