I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
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