the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
