Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
