No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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