sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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